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It is with great sadness that we note the passing of the Atlanta Thrashers, defunct suddenly at the Phillips Arena, on Tuesday, May 31, 2011. The Thrashers were cherished by loving parents the Atlanta Spirit Organization until they realized the actual cost of raising a chronic problem-child and shipped it out to Winnipeg. The Thrashers were also the beloved siblings of the Lightning, Capitals, Panthers, and Hurricanes. Sadly, the Thrashers left behind approximately 12,000 children, who visited infrequently and often only because the Braves were shitty, or Michael Vick was imprisoned. They will be fondly remembered for drafting Patrik Stefan, a logo that looked like throw-up, and making the playoffs only once—despite playing in the NHL’s remedial division. The Thrashers were truly a precious gift to the league’s other 29 teams. Friends will be received at the MTS Centre at 300 Portage Avenue, Winnipeg where a bylaw-scoffing street party will blaze for weeks. As an expression of sympathy, in lieu of flowers donations to the Winnipeg season ticket drive would be greatly appreciated.
Blair Charbonneau, Hockey Net
