Coyotes bought by kindly old Medicine Hat couple

Under the Wilkinsons, the
Coyotes are now officially a
"Mom and Pop operation."

Blair Charbonneau, Hockey Net

PHOENIX — The NHL announced today that the Phoenix Coyotes franchise has been purchased by elderly Medicine Hat couple, the Wilkinsons, for approximately just over ninety-eight thousand dollars.

On Tuesday, the Wilkinsons dipped into their life savings, outbidding all other potential Coyotes investors. The sixty-seven-year-old couple say they have no previous corporate management experience, except the local confectionary they’ve run since 1963.

“We think it’s just swell that Mr. Bettman was kind enough to sell us the Coyotes,” said Mr. Wilkinson. “What a nice man,” added Mrs. Wilkinson. “Don’t let their sweet disposition fool you, behind closed doors, [the Wilkinsons] play hardball,” commented NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman.”

Just days ago, PEAK6 Investments CEO Matthew Hulsizer was considered the NHL’s dream investor, primed to swoop in and purchase the Coyotes. Sources confirm Hulsier attended a team practice and was never heard from again.

Entrepreneurial sports mogul Jerry Reinsdorf was also once thought to the NHL’s newest owner, as his supposed partnership with the league grew last year until it was revealed Reinsdorf thought the Coyotes were an MLS franchise.

With the purchase, the Wilkinsons stated they “don’t want to cause a stir” and will enact a only few small changes. However, they have informed Coyotes coach Dave Tippet that their ten-year-old grandson, Cody, is to play first-line centre alongside captain Shane Doan and winger Ray Whitney. “It’s always been Cody’s dream to play in the NHL, and this is as close as we can get him,” said Mrs Wilkinson.”

Coyotes players say it’s been a seamless transition around Jobing.com Arena, “We’ve hardly noticed any difference, aside from the doilies adorning the dressing room and the snack bowls of Bridge Mix,” explained defenceman Ed Jovanovski.

Other new team policies the couple have instituted will see the Coyotes sport new wool jerseys, crocheted by Mrs. Wilkinson herself, while fresh chocolate chip cookies and milk will await the Coyotes—and their opponents—after every game.

When asked if they would be making any trades to boost the Coyotes from tenth place in the Western Conference, Mr. Wilkinson replied, “It’s not important who wins, as long as the boys have fun.”

The Coyotes will be ready and snug on Thursday night versus the Sharks.