Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Invertebrate Tim Thomas league’s leading goaltender

Thomas gets himself into position to make the save.
Blair Charbonneau, Hockey Net

BOSTON — Boston Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas has bested all NHL goaltenders in shutouts, save percentage and goals against average this season, and doing so without a solid backbone.

While playing in Finland during the 2004 NHL lockout, Thomas recently revealed he underwent surgery to remove his spine which doctor’s claimed would allow him to contort his body in new ways, increasing his overall flexibility.

Yet, during the 2009-2010 season Thomas struggled, often losing his positioning and generally unable to stand upright for long periods of time. Thomas eventually lost his job to backup Tuukka Rask.

Fueled by his fierce competitiveness and gambling debts, Thomas spent the offseason re-inventing himself around an “angry octopus” thrashing style of goaltending and is currently the leading Vezina trophy candidate.

The Bruins goalie demonstrated his new approach two weeks ago, when he dove across the crease to steal a goal from Toronto’s Francois Beauchemin. The effort has already been dubbed the “save of the year.”

“I saw Beauchemin with a wide open cage, so naturally I dislocated my left shoulder and collarbone to slither across and make the save,” said Thomas.

However, Thomas’ condition has not come without consequence, most notably a nasty temper often displayed in the form of broken goalie sticks and in the case of Bruins forward Marco Sturm, a torn ACL. Bruins captain Zdeno Chara reflected on Thomas’ physiological state, “I think he’s mostly cartilage now.”

“Tim’s adapting well to a completely new lifestyle,” commented coach Claude Julien on
Thomas’ hasty post-game exits. “Prolonged exposure outside of his saltwater regeneration tank will render him dehydrated and crusty — that’s why we bring him in as quick as possible,” finished Julien.

The Bruins netminder stated he’s making an effort to contain his composure this season and so far Thomas has guided the Bruins one win back of the division leading Canadiens.

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